If you kick a fractal hard enough...

It swells up like a puffer fish and crackles with electrified rage.

Download parameter file soccer.xpf

So, only kick them once. The second time you'll get zapped.

Reminds me of the time I was bitten by a golden-haired ant in Mexico.

I was doing my regular rounds of collecting water samples from the four sites in this coastal dune area just north of Veracruz on the Gulf coast.

The last site was in an older, wooded area and when I was finished I decided to check out a semi-rotten stump I'd seen some strange ants in.

There's alot of strange bugs down there, but they're secretive and don't like people and you have to go looking for them.

Sure enough, just as I had thought, these big black ants had some sort of golden fuzz on the tops of their heads, middle and end parts. Feeling relatively safe, I began to poke around their hole with my walking/spider-web-clearing stick.

Pretty soon there were quite a few of these golden ants coming out of the hole and racing around. But they're just ants, not even flying ants, and worst come to worst, I could just step on them and walk away.

Then out comes the Cyclops of the golden haired ants. Same species, I guess, but he's got a head that's three times the size of any of the rest.

He's up my walking stick before I can blink, and slices the end of my thumb with his razor blade mandible. I drop my stick, start jumping around, and run off about 20 feet away.

Next day, like captain what's-his-name, I go back looking for the great white whale. I capture him in a plastic sample bottle and take him back to my insect trophy collection.

Unlike all the other creatures I've chloroformed and glued to a piece of cardboard, including a Black Widow spider I found under the "dining room" table, this guy comes back to life, after a double dose.

I used five-minute epoxy to glue him and now he's struggling to free his legs from the cardboard and the resin hasn't set completely. I practically drowned him in the chloroform, but he just won't die.

I trim the cardboard with him on it and put the whole thing back in a sample bottle with plenty of choroform and leave him there all night.

It's been 15 years now and I've still got him. I should have just left him in the bush, but I knew no one back in Canada would have believed me when I told them about the golden ants. I'm sure Sindbad had the same problem with his stories.

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